Only A Brain
by Harry Smothers
(Tune: "Only A Game" by Tom Paxton)
(based on "Young Frankenstein")
While walking one innocent late p.m.
With paper and famous name
My eye did scan the grime-covered glass,
The words on my hand just the same
I entered and looked for the name I sought,
And one of the domes I did gain
I reached it, I grabbed it, I slipped - and it broke.
Oh, well, it was only a brain.
Cho.
I'd been sent after a brain, after all,
A brain from a great scientist
This brain, I was told, was the finishing piece,
The very last one on the list
I still had to come back with something, I knew,
Or my Master would tear out his mane,
So I grabbed "Abby Normal" and lunged for the hills --
After all, it was only a brain. (Cho.)
It's back to the lab, and I shifted my hump,
Just to give Master a start
He was fitting and stitching a few more lumps,
It looked like this one was the heart.
My Master was just getting into it good,
And he twisted and whirled and spun
And he fitted the ears, and he stitched down the wrists,
And he bellowed, "My God! Nearly done!" (Cho.)
I don't know what happened; I don't want to know.
I have my whole life to recover.
But something was wrong with that sad little brain
That the Master was bound to discover.
The Monster arose from his giant slab,
His anger was mated with pain;
But sedation was near, so we swallowed our fear
Of this giant with abnormal brain. (Cho.)
Now that it's over, that everything's fine,
I think we were all overwrought.
It seems that the fluid that ran up his spine
Was too "something", I still don't know what.
We got it all fixed in the nick of time
Before "Ratchet-Arm" has his way
Now Master and Monster both gained something large --
But that is a different Lay. (Cho.)
Written 1993 by Gerald Bliss.
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