And also losing it

I got out to Walking Fern Farm yesterday among so many people who love me, for a meeting to determine our Festivals, Moon Rituals, and Male and Female Retreats. Soon after I got there I started crying.

I’ve been so overwhelmed. I’m doing the best I can. But at my age, going from barely being able to take care of myself to having to take care of a good-sized house, a fiance, and her daughter, all by myself, has been too much for me. I have no way of fixing it… other than finding an under-the-table job which pays me to do nothing, and I don’t think anyone’s out there. I’ve tried selling my music and some meditation necklaces, and nobody is buying. My honey is selling jewelry, and has no market. We’re not begging (most of the time) but nothing is happening to keep us from needing to beg.

I got a lot of sympathy and a lot of advice, most of which I can’t use but it was welcome hearing people trying to help.

I came home and crashed. Slept until 6:30. And was still tired at bedtime.

Some of the fatigue could be from the new blood pressure medication, but I’m not feeling that. It’s the stress that just doesn’t go away, and not all of it is financial.

If you can help, my music can be purchased at http://mordewis.bandcamp.com and the meditation necklaces and other things at http://serpentscoils.ecrater.com .