Why We Love Children<\/b><\/p>\n
1.
\nA kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was
\ndead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil.
\n“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child
\ninnocently. “You did WHAT ? ! ?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
\n“You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it
\ndidn’t move.”<\/p>\n
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his
\nfather. Five minutes later…..”Da-ad….” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can
\nyou bring drink of water?” “No, You had your chance. Lights out.” Five
\nminutes later: “Da-aaaad…..” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink
\nof water??” I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!!”
\nFive minutes later……”Daaaa-aaaad…..” “WHAT!” “When you come in to
\nspank me, can you bring a drink of water?”<\/p>\n
3. An
\nexasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally
\nasked him “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it
\nover and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep
\nslamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come
\nin or stay out!'”<\/p>\n
4. One summer evening during a
\nviolent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was
\nabout to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
\n“Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him
\na reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s
\nroom.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
\n“The big sissy.”<\/p>\n
5. It was that time, during the
\nSunday morning service, for the children’s sermon. All the children
\nwere invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a
\nparticularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over
\nand said, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?” The
\nlittle girl replied, directly into the pastor’s clip-on microphone,
\n“Yes, and my Mom says it’s a bitch to iron.”<\/p>\n
6. When I
\nwas six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came
\ninto the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She
\nsaid, “Mommy, you are getting fat!” I replied, “Yes, honey, remember
\nMommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” “I know,” she replied, but
\nwhat’s growing in your butt?”<\/p>\n
7. A little boy was
\ndoing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus five, that son
\nof a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine….”
\nHis mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”
\n“Your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked. “Yes,” he
\nanswered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, “What
\nare you teaching my son in math?” The teacher replied, “Right now, we
\nare learning addition.” The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to
\nsay two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?” After the teacher
\nstopped laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus two,
\nTHE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”<\/p>\n
8. One day the first grade
\nteacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came
\nto the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.
\nShe read, “…. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said,
\n“The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” The teacher paused then asked
\nthe class, “And what do you think that farmer said?” One little girl
\nraised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy Shit! A talking
\nchicken!'” The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10
\nminutes.<\/p>\n
9. A certain little girl, when asked her
\nname, would reply, “I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.” Her mother told her
\nthis was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.” The Vicar spoke to
\nher in Sunday School, and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?”
\nShe replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”<\/p>\n
10.
\nA little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the
\nboys?” Her mother replied, “No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re
\ntoo rough.” \u00a0The little girl thought about it for a few moments and
\nasked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”<\/p>\n
11.
\nA little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next
\nto the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack
\ncake The barber says to her, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your
\nTwinkie.” She says, “Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs
\ntoo.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Why We Love Children 1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT ? ! ?” the teacher exclaimed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1020","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1020","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1020"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1020\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}