{"id":1419,"date":"2004-09-16T16:48:05","date_gmt":"2004-09-16T20:48:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/peacefulhippo.wordpress.com\/2004\/09\/16\/1419\/"},"modified":"2004-09-16T16:48:05","modified_gmt":"2004-09-16T20:48:05","slug":"1419","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/2004\/09\/16\/1419\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students&#8230;here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God&#8217;s omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. <\/p>\n<p>And the first thing he said was &#8220;DON&#8217;T!&#8221; <br \/>\n&#8220;Don&#8217;t what?&#8221; Adam replied. <br \/>\n&#8220;Don&#8217;t eat the forbidden fruit.&#8221; God said. <br \/>\n&#8220;Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!&#8221; <br \/>\n&#8220;No Way!&#8221; <br \/>\n&#8220;Yes way!&#8221; <br \/>\n&#8220;Do NOT eat the fruit!&#8221; said God. <br \/>\n&#8220;Why&#8221; <br \/>\n&#8220;Because I am your Father and I said so!&#8221; God replied, wondering why He hadn&#8217;t stopped creation after making the elephants. <br \/>\nA few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! <br \/>\n&#8220;Didn&#8217;t ! I tell you not to eat the fruit?&#8221; God asked. <br \/>\n&#8220;Uh huh,&#8221; Adam replied. <br \/>\n&#8220;Then why did you?&#8221; said the Father. <br \/>\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t know,&#8221; said Eve. <br \/>\n&#8220;She started it!&#8221; Adam said. <br \/>\n&#8220;Did not!&#8221; <br \/>\n&#8220;Did too!&#8221; <br \/>\n&#8220;DID NOT!&#8221; <br \/>\nHaving had it with the two of them, God&#8217;s punishment was t hat Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.<\/p>\n<p>BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! <\/p>\n<p>If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven&#8217;t taken it, don&#8217;t  be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? <\/p>\n<p>THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! <\/p>\n<p>1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and<br \/>\nshut up. <br \/>\n2. Grandchildren are God&#8217;s reward for not killing your own children. <br \/>\n3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. <br \/>\n4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn&#8217;t have said. <br \/>\n5. The main purpose of holding children&#8217;s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. <br \/>\n6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. <\/p>\n<p>ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. <\/p>\n<p>AND FINALLY: <br \/>\nIF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASP IRIN BOTTLE: <br \/>\n&#8220;TAKE TWO ASPIRIN&#8221; AND &#8220;KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN&#8221;!!!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students&#8230;here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God&#8217;s omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1419","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1419","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1419"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1419\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}