Things are still up and down at home. We have good hours and bad hours. We really love each other but there are a lot of fears and triggers. We can move through them but it doesn’t seem we can get rid of them, at least not yet.<\/p>\n
Work is being amazing and stressful. My boss still hasn’t figured out how to improve her initial responses to requests for help, but it’s more obvious that she thinks I’m “getting it” and can be trusted. One of her family members died last month and she couldn’t attend the funeral (in Wisconsin). Now the lawyer stuff is starting and she has to go up there for a week. So she is, and appears to feel confident that Tina and I can handle it. (I’ve already told her that if the place burns down, it’s Tina’s fault.) It really helps that I’ve been friends with Tina for so long through the Knit & Crochet Meetups, and that Tina makes mistakes, and the boss makes mistakes, and they know how to handle human error, but I’m just not comfortable making mistakes. You know how “mental illness” is, you feel you need to be perfect for others to even see you as okay. But the Board was shown my website work and were waaaayyy impressed (besides, where can you get an HTML guy for $7.25\/hour and no bennies?). I thought the boss would want the Board to approve them before I put them on the website, but no, she wanted them up there.<\/p>\n
Anyhow, I gotta keep moving. Have to start leaving for work sooner, I spend a few minutes with a squeegee every morning getting the dew off my car and that’s not in my current timetable… will be worse when it’s frost…<\/p>\n
I seem to have lost TWO friends. Amethyst has removed herself as my friend AND Sunshine’s, apparently over what her hubby thought was a cruel statement to another friend (who, as you’ve been reading here, didn’t see any cruelty). I hate losing friends. But that’s life. LBR, I love reading your posts but they are SOOOOOO long and I just don’t have time right now. Keep the faith.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Hugs,<\/p>\n
Me<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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