My honey had another fit of anger last night. Now that might not sound like much, but when she gets REALLY mad, *I* do the screaming. And folks, I am not a screamer. It’s not me. We worked through it again, and she’s really sorry. We can’t figure out where she learned that “not doing something” is “punishing her for ‘x'” or where not understanding her when she changes the language being used for events without telling me means I’m mad at her.<\/p>\n
Yesterday, she asked me when I would be able to play. For the past 4 months, this has meant grab my guitar and music and we go somewhere. Yesterday, she informed me AFTER WE WERE IN THE TRUCK AND SHE HAD STARTED IT, that I made the wrong decision. I thought she meant she wanted to go to the river instead of the mountain, our two favorite places, but no, she informed me that what she meant (again, she had already started the truck and was getting angry with me and I had NO CLUE why she was angry) that she wanted to GO TO BED and play… well, the language we had been using these same 4 months for that was “honey time” or “cuddle time”.<\/p>\n
I kept trying to de-escalate the situation, and eventually she got what she wanted, but it didn’t stop whatever part of her was powering her anger and well, it was not a good time. But she can inject her anger into my head, but not my heart. I don’t know what I have to do to block these injections, and we haven’t had this for a couple weeks (it used to be almost daily). Really, folks, it is not me. This is not behavior I learned or practice. It’s something she needs to work out.<\/p>\n
Nice that I have such a powerful honey. Now if she could channel that power to something other than making me scream…<\/p>\n
The good thing is, when it is over, I know it wasn’t directed at me. It wasn’t learned from me, it doesn’t have anything to do with me. But I’m the one with the sore throat.<\/p>\n
Addendum: I know now, from thinking about it and talking it over with my honey, that not only was it not my anger but it was not her anger WITH me, so it makes it much easier to forgive and try for solutions.<\/p>\n
Hugs,
Me<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My honey had another fit of anger last night. Now that might not sound like much, but when she gets REALLY mad, *I* do the screaming. And folks, I am not a screamer. It’s not me. We worked through it again, and she’s really sorry. We can’t figure out where she learned that “not doing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-239","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=239"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}