My honey is a witch. Yup, you got that right, and most of the people reading this know what I mean — and know the difference between a witch and a Witch.<\/p>\n
All those anger spells I’ve been having with her, which were so unlike me… they weren’t me, or at least we can verify that most of them weren’t. The fact that I never said an angry word while screaming my head off at my honey, the fact that I even beat on my face with my fists (never do that, but honey does and I try to stop her)…<\/p>\n
It seems to be powered by, or co-existent with, her excess sexual energy. She NEEDS it so badly, and I start being resistant to it to the point of screaming. I know, that sounds like any American male, but I’m not just any American male. The guy who just doesn’t want to have sex would be calling his honey names, usually four-letter ones.<\/p>\n
This morning, we both knew she would wake up with excess sexual energy, we have been watching it build. But while she’s waking up, suddenly I’m feeling LEAVE ME ALONE, and when she pushed the issue I start screaming. This went on for a while, with her solution (as always) being, you take care of me first and then I’ll take care of you. No, I needed taking care of, and I was trying my damnedest to not say bad things to my honey, just leave me alone and let me fix this. After a while, she gave up and went to the back bedroom — opposite end of the trailer — and STOPPED BROADCASTING, and I STOPPED HAVING A PROBLEM, like POOF!<\/p>\n
My honey has been triggering me on things I don’t get triggered on, or at least haven’t had anyone else trigger me on them for at least 8 years. We talked about it, and she agrees with me. She is broadcasting her fear of losing me for wanting me too much, her self-hatred from years of bad relationships, as well as (in the case of sex) her body’s sexual needs. And I’m just being a happy little receiver and sucking it all up, then doing the only thing I could do with it — blowing up. Now I need to get better at blocking it, and then we won’t have a problem — I can help her learn how to channel that power into more productive things. She should be getting a teacher in a couple weeks, and he can be a part of this.<\/p>\n
It’s so hard to think of someone as being as powerful as they are when they are projecting helplessness and need. I’m only beating myself up now for being so stupid it took me three and a half months to figure it out!<\/p>\n
I expect to hear from Amethyst on this, but any of you others are welcome to chime in. If your comment is that I’m talking garbage, then you probably need to remove yourself from my subscription list.<\/p>\n
Hugs,
Me<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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