{"id":489,"date":"2008-06-23T02:55:07","date_gmt":"2008-06-23T06:55:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/peacefulhippo.wordpress.com\/2008\/06\/23\/do-a-push-up-go-to-jail\/"},"modified":"2008-06-23T02:55:07","modified_gmt":"2008-06-23T06:55:07","slug":"do-a-push-up-go-to-jail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/2008\/06\/23\/do-a-push-up-go-to-jail\/","title":{"rendered":"Do a Push-Up, Go to Jail"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
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<\/h5>\n

Lloyd Garver<\/a>
\n | Bio<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

<\/p>\n

After
\nreading this, you should never step out of the shower, look at yourself
\nin the mirror, and be disappointed by what you see. If somebody teases
\nyou about not being in great physical shape, I’ve got something you can
\ntell them. And the next time you’re with someone whose eyes drift over
\nto look at a person with a “perfect” body, you can just smile about
\nwhat you know and what they don’t. Researchers at the University of
\nArkansas have determined that those people with the best bodies aren’t
\nnecessarily the best people.<\/p>\n

This study that appears in The Social Science Journal, found that
\nmost people who entered prison were physically, even athletically, fit.
\nBetween 62 and 73% of the prison population was made up of hard-body
\nathletic types. And those who were physically fit were the most likely
\nto be imprisoned for violent crimes.<\/p>\n

So, if you are bemoaning that the person you are with doesn’t look
\nlike a swimsuit model, cut it out. At least he or she isn’t as likely
\nto knock over a bank as that neighbor of yours who works out every day
\nand only eats low-fat yogurt.<\/p>\n

I understand that the study only involves 5,000 Arkansas inmates, so
\nit would be unwise for scientists to generalize from this. That’s one
\nof the beauties of not being a scientist–I can generalize if I want to.<\/p>\n

The results of this study should be taught in every school in the
\nland. We’ve been told over and over again how dangerous it is for
\npeople–especially children–to try to model themselves after the few
\nindividuals who have almost perfect bodies. Now, because of this study,
\nkids and grownups don’t have to see those with centerfold physiques as
\nrole models. They can view them as people who might be more likely to
\nmug a 90-year-old World War II veteran than those of us who are a
\nlittle too thin or a little too heavy.<\/p>\n

I’ve always been suspicious of people who have really good bodies.
\nAnyone who devotes that much time to looking good isn’t spending enough
\ntime doing other things. If some other researchers did another survey,
\ndon’t you think they’d find that those who have “six-pack” abs don’t do
\nas much volunteer work as those of us with “no-packs?” How many
\nvaledictorians are at their ideal weight? Can you name one Nobel Prize
\nwinner who was also known for having perfect calves? I rest my case.<\/p>\n

This study is a triumph for every person who doesn’t have a gym
\nmembership, for anyone who ever took an extra piece of cake instead of
\nan extra lap around the track, and for all the men and women whose
\nexercise bikes long ago became a convenient place to hang their
\nclothes. This study isn’t only saying that the rest of us are as good
\nas those who have muscles in places where we just have places. It’s
\nsaying that we might be better than they are–or at least less violent.\n<\/p>\n

Instead of going for the chiseled or the silicone look, maybe this
\nwill encourage men and women to start choosing a mate or a date with
\nbony knees or a double chin. Perhaps employers will start recruiting
\npeople whose waists enter the room before their faces. In fact, I’m
\nreally looking forward to the headline someday that will proclaim the
\nlarge number of people who are suing companies for not hiring them
\nbecause they’re too good looking.<\/p>\n

Obviously, more research is necessary. (And if I know our
\ngovernment, it will probably be spending billions on it before you can
\nsay, “bridge to nowhere.”) We have to find out if there is a causal
\nrelationship between the number of sit-ups people can do and whether or
\nnot they end up wearing a number. Or is it just a coincidence that
\nthose with hard muscles are the ones doing hard time? After all, there
\nis another explanation for all this: Maybe those who are out of shape
\nare just too lazy to get out there and commit crimes. <\/p>\n

Lloyd Garver can be reached at lloydgarver@gmail.com. Check out his website at lloydgarver.com<\/a> and listen to his podcasts at iTunes. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lloyd Garver | Bio After reading this, you should never step out of the shower, look at yourself in the mirror, and be disappointed by what you see. If somebody teases you about not being in great physical shape, I’ve got something you can tell them. And the next time you’re with someone whose eyes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}