Twenty-five Signs You Have Grown Up<\/p>\n
By: Salma Rumman <\/p>\n
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can\u2019t smoke any of them.<\/p>\n
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.<\/p>\n
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.<\/p>\n
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.<\/p>\n
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.<\/p>\n
6. You watch the Weather Channel.<\/p>\n
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of \u201chook up\u201d and \u201cbreakup.\u201d<\/p>\n
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.<\/p>\n
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as \u201cdressed up.\u201d<\/p>\n
10. You\u2019re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won\u2019t turn down the stereo.<\/p>\n
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.<\/p>\n
12. You don\u2019t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.<\/p>\n
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.<\/p>\n
14. You feed your dog \u201cScience Diet\u201d instead of McDonald\u2019s leftovers.<\/p>\n
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.<\/p>\n
16. You take naps.<\/p>\n
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.<\/p>\n
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.<\/p>\n
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.<\/p>\n
20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer \u201cpretty good shit.\u201d<\/p>\n
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.<\/p>\n
22. \u201cI just can\u2019t drink the way I used to\u201d replaces \u201cI\u2019m never going to drink that much again.\u201d<\/p>\n
23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.<\/p>\n
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.<\/p>\n
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking \u201cOh shit what the hell happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bonus: 26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn\u2019t apply to you and can\u2019t find one to save your sorry old ass.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Twenty-five Signs You Have Grown Up By: Salma Rumman 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can\u2019t smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=501"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}