I am not publishing this because I am gay. I am publishing it
\nbecause it needs to be said. Each of us is different — and the
\nlabel of the kind of different YOU are can easily be placed in almost
\nevery one of the statements of the author below. Please read, and
\nopen your minds to love.<\/p>\n
In my case, friends and family, you might use the words “a witch”,
\n“bipolar”, or anything else you know me to be, in place of “gay”.<\/p>\n
Hugs,
\nMoss<\/p>\n
\nI – LESSONS FROM FAMILY<\/p>\n
I am not gay because I want to shame you. Though it may be so in your
\neyes, that is not why I call myself your daughter… or your son.<\/p>\n
I am not gay because I want to dishonor you, or because I do not want
\nto please you, or fail to give you reason to be proud of me – though
\nyou may perceive it as so. I wish that I could live my life to make you
\nhappy, but to do so would be at my expense – and that is not healthy
\nfor either of us.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to prove that you may only see what you want to see, for that is not my choice but yours.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to cause you to worry, though there may be just cause, for
\nharassment and homophobia are realities, but I do not call myself I AM
\nto shrivel behind the fear of what might be.<\/p>\n
I am not gay for you to trample on my heart and to ignore my attempts
\nto communicate who I am. Although you may perceive it as your parental
\nright, that is not why you may call me your son or daughter.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to find pleasure in the fact that you fear me, but would
\nask that you look beyond my sexuality as being an issue of right or
\nwrong; but rather as what is – the reality of our lives – whether
\ntogether, or apart.<\/p>\n
II – LESSONS FROM ORGANIZED RELIGION<\/p>\n
I am not gay just to claim that you are intolerant, though you may deny
\nit is so. For I believe the creator loves all people equally – not one
\nrace above another, not one religion above another, not one person
\nabove another.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to be in need of being saved or corrected when you think
\nthat you are wiser than I and can now somehow speak for and use the
\nself-imposed, privileged argument called “GOD”. Though you may think
\nthat this is your special calling or divine right, and may perceive it
\nas such; your words spoken largely out of fear, are just words, your
\nopinion. For who I truly am is holy and my path sacred – only I can
\nwalk therein and divinely know that what I travel is true and good.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to ask for people’s scorn, or for their pity, though you
\nmay perceive that I am now deceived and have somehow lost my way from
\nthe one-and-only-true-path-to-god, I assure that the path I walk is
\ntruly one of peace and love.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to find pleasure in rebelling against the family’s
\nway-of-life, the religious mandates for over four generations, etched
\ndeeply in our identity, the essence of who we have been, and for some –
\nwho we will always be. I am not gay to cause you grief because I no
\nlonger call myself a Christian, and that is not why I call myself
\nenlightened. And although I do not agree with all that you taught me, I
\nhonor your right to live your lives as you see fit for your highest
\ngood. Please understand that your idea of what the highest good is for
\nme, is not necessarily the same in my eyes. I ask for your blessing in
\nliving my life as I create and claim my own happiness.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to be a sinner, or the devil, or the scapegoat for all the
\nperceived immoral pitfalls of society. Though you may perceive it to be
\nso, I have found that happiness lies within one’s self, in seeking
\npersonal responsibility in all aspects of one’s life, and in not
\nblaming someone or something else for one’s perceived unhappiness. We
\ncreate what we experience.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to try to snuff out organized religion, though you may act
\nas if the threat is great. I simply ask to question the function of
\npatriarchal rules, set to keep the sexes unbalanced, creating
\noppression and inequality in the name of a controlling, often
\ncondemning, human-made religion. Why can’t it be different?<\/p>\n
I am not gay to enjoy being seen as a threat to a specific belief
\nsystem, but when society claims that I should not be allowed to freely
\nbe and love as all people, then in truth I must say, this cannot be
\ntolerated.<\/p>\n
III – LESSONS FROM SOCIETY<\/p>\n
I am not gay to close my eyes to injustice, for I see and live in a world of injustice everyday.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to crusade to recruit others to change their sexuality,
\nthough you may trivialize orientation as merely a choice; but having
\nfelt the difference in my life for years – and out of fear denied, I
\noffer compassion to those who recognize this sameness in themselves,
\nseeking to understand their path; and thus extend a ray of hope that
\npeace and spiritual wholeness can be found in accepting one’s self in
\nits divine totality.<\/p>\n
I am not gay because I hate myself nor the opposite gender, though you
\nmay perceive it as so. It is not why I choose to honor both the male
\nand female energies, nurturing balance within, thus embracing life as
\nwhole and full of divine possibility.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to threaten the love between a male and female, family or
\nkin– to negate in any way the beauty, health, and strength found in
\nloving relationships. I live everyday to embrace the benefits of divine
\nlove in all aspects of our world, and as such declare myself worthy and
\nequal to the human race in freely expressing my need and right to love
\nand intimate connection.*<\/p>\n
I am not gay because you say I desire to molest children. Though unjust
\nand empirically incorrect, you may claim it is so to create fear
\nthrough hysteria and ignorance.** I do not desire to love and nurture
\nchildren to cause them harm. My gift to them is to provide support, to
\nnurture their strengths and soul essences without condemnation of ways
\nin which they may differ from myself. For I deeply know the pain of
\nparental rejection and remember the saving phrase of the few non
\njudgmental adults in my growing-up years, “Who you are is okay, and we
\nlove you exactly as you are.” ** The large majority of pedophiles are
\nheterosexual males perpetrating against female children. Gay people are
\nno more likely to molest children than are heterosexual people.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to be seen as an inept parent, though you may claim this
\nis so. As in any family, it is a consistently loving and supportive
\nenvironment which fosters optimal growth in human beings – not one’s
\nsexual orientation.***<\/p>\n
I am not gay to hide or believe that any part of my life is a mistake,
\nfor I too am created and called “good” by the creator, and I refuse to
\nbuy into the argument that I am biologically or spiritually inferior. I
\nam who I am supposed to be – a gift, a life in loving totality.<\/p>\n
I am not gay to ignore that I can make a difference, though you may
\nwish that I remain unseen. For I claim the endowment, the perceptions
\nand keen awareness of being opposite-gendered, and as such see ways
\nwhere balance and wholeness are possible in our world, for I have found
\nit in myself first.<\/p>\n
I am not gay because I fear the “wrath of god”, for I have only known
\nthe sting of human condemnation, for the god within is love, and THAT
\nis why I honor who I AM!<\/p>\n
* See Dean Ornish’s book Love and Survival, the Scientific Basis For the Healing Power of Intimacy, HarperCollins, 1998.<\/p>\n
** See Out in all Directions, the Almanac of Gay and Lesbian America ;
\nLynn Witt, Sherry Thomas, Eric Marcus eds,; “Most Common Myths” ,
\nWarner Books, p.359.<\/p>\n
*** Ample studies, over 70 in one compilation, show that children of
\nhomosexual parents are as healthy as children of heterosexual parents.
\nSee Diversity, Boise, ID, May 1997.<\/p>\n
Cristi Jenkins was raised in a four-generation Mormon family. She
\nreceived a BA in music and a Masters of Information and Library Science
\nfrom Brigham Young University. Heeding her higher self, after years of
\ndevout service she resigned her membership with the LDS church,
\nembarking on a different spiritual path. As such this path has led her
\nto embrace the strengths of identifying as gay and as a lightworker.<\/p>\n
Cristi writes a monthly column for DIVERSITY, a gay and lesbian
\nnewspaper. She also enjoys composing music, woodworking and art. Her
\ngoal is to utilize these gifts in creating peace, tolerance, and love
\nfor all people and creations. Cristi currently resides in Vancouver, Wa
\nwith her two dogs, Bud and Betsy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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