Conversation overheard between Condoleeza Rice and George W. Bush:<\/p>\n
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What\u00b4s happening?
\nCondi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
\nGeorge: Great. Lay it on me.
\nCondi: Hu is the new leader of China.
\nGeorge: That\u00b4s what I want to know.
\nCondi: That\u00b4s what I\u00b4m telling you.
\nGeorge: That\u00b4s what I\u00b4m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
\nCondi: Yes.
\nGeorge: I mean the fellow\u00b4s name.
\nCondi: Hu.
\nGeorge: The guy in China.
\nCondi: Hu.
\nGeorge: The new leader of China.
\nCondi: Hu.
\nGeorge: The Chinaman!
\nCondi: Hu is leading China.
\nGeorge: Now whaddya\u00b4 asking me for?
\nCondi: I\u00b4m telling you Hu is leading China.
\nGeorge: Well, I\u00b4m asking you. Who is leading China?
\nCondi: That\u00b4s the man\u00b4s name.
\nGeorge: That\u00b4s who\u00b4s name?
\nCondi: Yes.
\nGeorge: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
\nCondi: Yes, sir.
\nGeorge: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
\nCondi: That\u00b4s correct.
\nGeorge: Then who is in China?
\nCondi: Yes, sir.
\nGeorge: Yassir is in China?
\nCondi: No, sir.
\nGeorge: Then who is?
\nCondi: Yes, sir.
\nGeorge: Yassir?
\nCondi: No, sir.
\nGeorge: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
\nChina. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
\nCondi: Kofi?
\nGeorge: No, thanks.
\nCondi: You want Kofi?
\nGeorge: No.
\nCondi: You don\u00b4t want Kofi.
\nGeorge: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
\nCondi: Yes, sir.
\nGeorge: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
\nCondi: Kofi?
\nGeorge: Milk! Will you please make the call?
\nCondi: And call who?
\nGeorge: Who is the guy at the U.N?
\nCondi: Hu is the guy in China.
\nGeorge: Will you stay out of China?!
\nCondi: Yes, sir.
\nGeorge: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
\nCondi: Kofi.
\nGeorge: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.<\/p>\n
=====<\/p>\n
<\/font><\/div>\n
You kiss your girlfriend’s home page.<\/p>\n
A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date.<\/p>\n
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.<\/p>\n
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.<\/p>\n
All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8…ISDN…cable modem…T1…T3.<\/p>\n
And even your night dreams are in HTML.<\/p>\n
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.<\/p>\n
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.<\/p>\n
You start introducing yourself as “Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au”.<\/p>\n
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new
\nWWW site address in print or on TV, even though you’ve never had heart
\nproblems before.<\/p>\n
You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue when it happened.<\/p>\n
You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.<\/p>\n
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.<\/p>\n
All of your friends have an @ in their names.<\/p>\n
When looking at a pageful of someone else’s links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.<\/p>\n
Your dog has its own home page.<\/p>\n
Your dog’s homepage is actually good.<\/p>\n
You can’t call your mother…she doesn’t have a modem.<\/p>\n
You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.<\/p>\n
Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.<\/p>\n
You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.<\/p>\n
You don’t know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.<\/p>\n
Your husband tells you he’s had the beard for 2 months.<\/p>\n
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.<\/p>\n
You tell the kids they can’t use the computer because “Daddy’s got work to do” and you don’t even have a job.<\/p>\n
You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.<\/p>\n
Your wife makes a new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”<\/p>\n
You get a tatoo that says “This body best viewed with Netscape 4.70 or higher.”<\/p>\n
You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP…because you never log off.<\/p>\n
The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.<\/p>\n
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.<\/p>\n
Your wife says communication is important in a marriage…so you buy
\nanother computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can
\nchat.<\/p>\n
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the “back” button.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Conversation overheard between Condoleeza Rice and George W. Bush: George: Condi! Nice to see you. What\u00b4s happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That\u00b4s what I want to know. Condi: That\u00b4s what I\u00b4m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-815","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/815","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=815"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/815\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=815"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=815"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=815"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}