I’ve been told that my rip of “Every Day of the Year” is not very
\ngood. I’ll fix it as soon as I can, probably have to take it off
\nthe sites for now.<\/p>\n
=====<\/p>\n
Caretaking: the act of taking responsibility for other people while neglecting responsibility for ourselves. <\/p>\n
When we instinctively feel responsible for the feelings, thoughts,
\nchoices, problems, comfort, and destiny of others, we are caretakers.
\nWe may believe, at an unconscious level, that others are responsible
\nfor our happiness, just as we’re responsible for theirs.<\/p>\n
It’s a worthy goal to be a considerate, loving, nurturing person. But
\ncaretaking is neglecting us to the point of feeling victimized.
\nCaretaking involves caring for others in ways that hamper them in
\nlearning to take responsibility for themselves.<\/p>\n
Caretaking doesn’t work. It hurts other people; it hurts us. People get angry. They feel hurt, used, and victimized. So do we.<\/p>\n
The kindest and most generous behavior we can choose is taking
\nresponsibility for ourselves – for what we think, feel, want, and need.
\nThe most beneficial act we can perform is to be true to ourselves, and
\nlet others take responsibility for themselves.<\/p>\n
“Today, I will pay attention to my actual responsibilities to myself. I
\nwill let others do the same. If I am in doubt about what my actual
\nresponsibilities are, I will take an inventory.”<\/p>\n
– Melody Beattie<\/p>\n
=====<\/p>\n
It’s imperative that we stop feeling so guilty. Much of the time, the
\nthings we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves
\ninappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge
\nthe behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel
\nguilty.<\/p>\n
Guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our
\nbest interests, and in other people’s best interests. Guilt can stop us
\nfrom taking healthy care of ourselves.<\/p>\n
We don’t have to let others count on the fact that we’ll always feel
\nguilty. We don’t have to allow ourselves to be controlled by guilt –
\nearned or unearned! We can break through the barrier of guilt that
\nholds us back from self care. Push. Push harder. We are not at fault,
\ncrazy, or wrong. We have a right to set boundaries and to insist on
\nappropriate treatment. We can separate another’s issues from our
\nissues, and let the person experience the consequences of his or her
\nown behavior, including guilt. We can trust ourselves to know when our
\nboundaries are being violated.<\/p>\n
“Today, I will let go of my big and little guilty feelings. Light and love are on my side.”<\/p>\n
– Melody Beattie<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve been told that my rip of “Every Day of the Year” is not very good. I’ll fix it as soon as I can, probably have to take it off the sites for now. ===== Caretaking: the act of taking responsibility for other people while neglecting responsibility for ourselves. When we instinctively feel responsible for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-898","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/898","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=898"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/898\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=898"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=898"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peacefulhippo.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=898"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}