Could 2003 be your lucky year – the one in which you fulfill a dream, improve your health, increase prosperity and feel happier?

Absolutely, says bestselling author Wayne Dyer, whose latest book is 10
Secrets for Success and Inner Peace (Hay House). Dyer believes that
positive thinking and a spiritual connection can lead to dramatic
improvements in anyone’s life.

He also insists that changing your thoughts and attitudes really can
lead to making your most impossible dreams come true. All you need is a
burning desire and an unwavering vision of what will eventually
materialize.
In a talk with Family Circle, Dyer explains how to create a new
contract with yourself that will enable you to make of your life
everything you want it to be.

Family Circle: How do you make 2003 the year for a personal transformation?

Dyer: First look at any disharmony or scarcity in your life – your
finances, struggles, even some health problems – and say: I created
this. My life is the result of the choices I’ve made. What we think
determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we
need to stretch our minds.

Family Circle: Is that New Age psychobabble or does it really work?

Dyer: It may sound like psychobabble, but in fact, we become what we
think about. William James, the father of psychology, said that if you
form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you hold
it there long enough, it will become a reality. I’ve found that has
worked for me.

Family Circle: Give an example.

Dyer: When I wrote my first book, Your Erroneous Zones, there was
nothing I wouldn’t do to make it a success. I called bookstores to
create a demand, then delivered the books to the stores myself! I
always say it’s never crowded along the extra mile.

Family Circle: But what if your life isn’t changing in the ways that you want it to?

Dyer: Realize that insanity is repeating the same thoughts and
behaviors again and again, and expecting different results. To get a
new outcome, you have to rewrite your agreement with reality, which I
do regularly.

Family Circle: What do you mean?

Dyer: You have to compose a brand-new agreement with yourself that
says: There is nothing that is not possible for me. I can attract
abundance into my life. Connect with that thought. Norman Vincent Peale
said, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

Family Circle: So if you want to lose 10 pounds . . .

Dyer: First visualize yourself looking the way you want to and never
let that picture out of your head. Envision yourself eating healthful
foods and exercising. If you hold those thoughts in your mind, you’ll
act on them.

Family Circle: So what happens when you focus on all the things that you don’t have?

Dyer: You stay stuck. Every thought you have either makes you stronger
or weaker. Thoughts of kindness, hope, forgiveness, and peace are
strengthening. Anger, anxiety, worry, and fear weaken you. You must
process events in terms of appreciation rather than depreciation. You
either feel that the universe is plentiful and providing, or you feel
short-changed, that nothing is ever right. That’s what I call a
scarcity mentality – expecting that things won’t work out for you. I
was recently on a plane that was running 30 minutes late. The woman
sitting next to me said, “With my luck, I won’t make my connection.” I
answered, “With my luck, I will!” I think she may still be in Dallas.

Family Circle: How can you reprogram yourself?

Dyer: Before you go to bed, create an image of what you want for
yourself; then act as if you are who you want to be. Catch yourself
verbalizing self-defeating thoughts, stop labeling yourself, and take
time just to be.

Family Circle: And how do you do all that?

Dyer: You quiet your mind. On average, a person has 60,000 separate
thoughts a day. We’re thinking too much! As an ancient proverb says,
“It’s the silence between the notes that makes the music.” So get
quiet. Meditate; go for a walk; listen to the birds, the ocean. Breathe
in the fresh air and allow your mind to let go.

Family Circle: can just hear workaholics saying they don’t have the time to do that.

Dyer: If you don’t take time for being healthy, you’ll eventually have
to make time for being sick. You can meditate for two minutes at a red
light. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and clear your mind.
The person behind you will let you know when your two minutes are up!

Family Circle: What are the signs of inner peace?

Dyer: People who have a sense of peace tend to smile, feel compassion,
and enjoy the moment. They lose interest in conflict, and they don’t
worry!

Family Circle: You often say, “Stop worrying because there’s nothing to worry about.” How can that be?

Dyer: It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over
because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about
things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.

Family Circle: So the next time you’re tossing and turning in bed . . . ?

Dyer: My teacher in India always said, “First think of God, whatever
God means to you. Think of the universal force that allows an acorn to
turn into an oak tree or a blossom to become an orange.” The moment you
bring spiritual energy to the present, worry and anguish dissolve.

Family Circle: Other than yourself, do you know anyone who has mastered this?

Dyer: I don’t know that I have! I’ve got eight kids and I struggle with
the same things most people do. I’ve dealt with marital problems and
addictions. What I’ve learned is to remind myself that all I have is
today. That helps me shift my attention to what’s good and right.

Family Circle: You always say that forgiveness is a dramatic way to
transform a life. Forgiving your father for abandoning his family was a
turning point for you.

Dyer: After he died, I went to my father’s grave and told him, I don’t
know what motivated you to run your life as you did, but I forgive you.
Afterward I felt a deep sense of relief and peace. Forgiveness is
transforming. I use the metaphor of the snake bite. It is not the bite
that kills you; it’s the venom. When you hold a grudge, the poisons of
anger and blame destroy you. Your heart weakens, your blood pressure
rises, you get ulcers. It wrecks your health, makes you miserable.

Family Circle: And when you forgive . . .

Dyer: . . . miracles begin to appear in your life because forgiveness
heals. It’s the core of every great spiritual teaching – from Jesus and
Buddha to Gandhi and Mother Teresa.

Family Circle: You also recommend the art of detachment, calling it “one of life’s great lessons.” What do you mean?

Dyer: I mean detach from the opinions of others; from the habit of
judging or controlling others; from the past; from the need to be right
and to win; from an obsession with material things. Follow your passion
in life, but detach from the outcome and allow the universe to handle
the details.

Family Circle: So, as we usher in 2003, what would you say is the key to achieving happiness?

Dyer: When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on
the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way. That’s what life is.
There’s no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. It’s what you bring
to life.

*Excerpted from Family Circle/January 14, 2003 issue