Standing on the corner

I keep feeling like my honey and I have turned corners, only to find her standing just before the corner I thought we had turned, quivering her her metaphorical boots.  Apparently she is really afraid of changing something, and it’s so bad she went for help. She couldn’t even ask me to take her, had to call a friend 25 miles away to take her.  So now she is gone for at least 3 days.  Without her here, I can’t even go to bed until I’m entirely exhausted, and then still take a couple hours to get to sleep (after 4 am last night).  I have been making some less-than-great decisions in other areas (my last “new” TV was an already-6-year-old Sharp in 2005, so I ordered one from a place which gives me credit, and without a job I really can’t pay the payments… at least I held it down to a 26″ LCD for $300 instead of one of the huge $1000+ models).

I don’t have any job prospects right now except a part-promise that the company I interviewed for last would hire me if they had enough clients. I need to take control of that again.

Not doing well. Could be worse.

My mother has been in the hospital almost two weeks now. My uncle is starting to panic, saying things like, “We have to get her out of there, people DIE in hospitals,” which is a very true statement considering Mom is already 83 years old.  And this has heightened my missing my father, who died last year. Nov 12 would have been his 86th birthday, and having my mother in the hospital…

Well, let’s just say I am doing as well as I could expect to under the circumstances. Half the time I want to just throw all my stuff in a Uhaul and head for Nebraska. My ex-wife and her husband have found a place they are welcome, and housing costs are way cheap… if I can afford the utility bills… but I would have zero job opportunities there and lots of other things. You know, when things go bad, running is one of the options. I think of all the options, even the disastrous ones, just don’t give anything much weight when I can still sit here and stick things out.

Goat any extra prayers sitting around doing nothing? I could use some.

Hugs,

Me