First Problems

Apparently my behavior is still awful. People are hearing me complain, complain, complain, when I feel I’m just doing my work.  I guess I have it in my head that I have to give everyone a reason before I can stop working, and the only valid reason is how much I hurt — but in this case, they just hear me complaining about hurting, they don’t know why I’m doing it. So I guess I have to stop doing it.  Had a very bad discussion on dinner, apparently it sounded like I was saying we should throw everything out and buy all organic stuff, when I was saying that we were eating somewhat too much pre-flavored items which usually have sugar, MSG, and lots of hidden chemicals, and we could be preparing more of that type of food ourselves.  I guess I can’t go into this too much… but I’m near tears and had to ask a family member if I even should go to bed with my sweetheart, or should just leave her to sleep alone. (I was told “OF COURSE she wants you to sleep with her,” but you know, you get hurting and you start questioning things you shouldn’t question.)

Better leave it there. Tomorrow I have the third class in the work seminar, then have to take stuff to the thrift shop and then have to meet with Sunshine to give her back a couple boxes of her stuff which surfaced during the move.

Hugs,

Me