Grrrr

I’ve been struggling with a lot of things. Among them has been my honey’s Disability case. As my readers know, I have taken a job to help support my honey, which contains some risk of losing my own Disability benefits but also has some up-side… well, a fair bit of up-side, but some down-side too. My honey has been resistant to me working, because she really needs nearly full-time care and attention, but there was just no way to balance our needs for funds with her need for attention. I really feel that if she were not with me, she would likely find herself in a group home. She would be the most-loved, most-appreciated person in the group home, if the home were a good place for her, but it would still be a group home. She really has gotten a lot better in the past 3 months, but usually doesn’t see that and is still resentful of my working when she cannot bring in any income.

Well, some set of jerks in Nashville have decided that she’s Not Disabled Enough and her claim was rejected. So now we have to go through the whole lawyer thing and stress out for two years or so, trying to stay above water. This is not going to be easy. That was an understatement.

I’m really rough this morning. I feel like crying, I feel like doing harm to people in Nashville (don’t have it in me, it’s just a feeling), I feel like staying home from work — which is NOT possible, as my boss is attending family death stuff in Wisconsin and there is no way I would leave my only co-worker (and friend) to hold down the office by herself.

I’ve started a pot of my world-famous Guts, Grease, and Rice (chicken gizzards & hearts, rice, & cream cheese). Have to cook the chicken guts down to be as soft as possible, the cut them up. This is the long part, so I put them in a slow cooker to cook all day with seasonings. When I get home I’ll cut them up and add the rice.

I needs some prayers, candles, whatever. This could be a hard day to get through.

Hugs,

Me

PS Edit: My honey read the above and thought that I *WANTED* to send her to a group home. NONONONONONO!!!!!!! I just believe that, in her current condition (although she’s getting better), that is where she would end up if she were not with me. I understand the nature of her disability and, I believe, the extent of it; I was mad at the Disability Specialist in Nashville for NOT understanding that. I LOVE MY HONEY!!!!!!!