Work issues

This new job. It’s the first real job I’ve had since 1997. Right now I’m not feeling up to it. I’m doing things wrong that I shouldn’t be, that even I know better. But when I take initiative to do something, I get creamed for doing it, and when I don’t, I get blasted for not doing it.  There is a lot to learn, and no time to learn it, and I’m being criticized for not having the next-to-latest new task not locked down.  And just about every time the boss says something “instructive” it sounds like shouting. Some of that is just the way she talks, but she doesn’t make much of an attempt to tone it down.

This morning she was not in the office, so she called in and ripped me apart for about ten minutes, then had me transfer her to the other employee, where she proceeded to do the same to her for about 20 minutes.  Tina has been here about 2 months longer than I have, and attends the same church as our boss, so there are pluses and minuses there that she can get help in dealing with.

Most of the time I can get help from Tina, but lately she has been finding my mistakes.

Look, I know I’m disabled. I know it is an “invisible disability”. But I wish it weren’t so invisible to me. I should just stay at home and collect my check and not bother anyone.

OK, whining again. I’m not going to do that. I’m too tough for that. But I don’t blame me for feeling that way. So far I’m sticking it out, and, after a respectable emotional burst, am back to answering the phones… but I’m not as confident as before.

In other news, sweetie is off in Sevierville, to look for jobs and to look at that trailer. It might be a piece of garbage she doesn’t want… but we also have lots of wonderful friends who are skilled at fixing things. Hope she gets a job she wants, and is strong enough to keep it.

Hugs,

Me